Family Guy Porn Story: The Spellbook Chapter 34
Chapter 33: Letters from our Fans
Inside the Griffin household, all The Spellbook cast is on the living room, the titular book on Megs lap.
Well, just like Ander said, today we will answer some of the fans questions said Meg.
Too bad that there arent any letters said Brian.
Well, I hope you didnt expect a story focused on Meg and not me to actually have fans teased Stewie.
Oh, shut up! said Rosie. There ARE plenty of letters. However, we gather those letters using the witch mail
Witch mail? asked Matt. I think it would be better if they send the questions via email, like everybody else in the world
Oh said Lois. And how does that mail work?
This way said Meg as she opened the book on a random page, and hundreds of letters began to jump from it. Soon they were swamped with letters.
Yes, I still think that emails are better said Matt bitterly.
Well, lets start said Meg as she grabbed a letter. Its from FreezeXtreme
Ander: Why did you decided to start writing fan fictions in english?
Well, because most of the Family Guy stories and readers are Americans, and FG fanfiction isnt very popular in Spain, so thats why I decided to take the challenge. Besides, is a good way to improve my English.
Rosie: What was your first impression of Stewie did you not like him? Why did you try to take Rupert away from him?
My first impression of Stewie was a good one said Rosie. He seemed to be an intelligent and funny person. Another thing that I liked from him was his really weird way to speak
I dont speak weird! complained Stewie. Take that back right now, you filthy small whore, or Ill tear your had off and use your lifeless body to feed the hounds!
See? Thats what I mean said Rosie. As for Rupert, well, I also liked him too. Hes a very cute teddy bear, and Im sure that any kid would want it. However, when I realized how important Rupert was for Stewie, I immediately gave him back
Oh, you have no idea of the obsession Stewie has with that toy said Brian. I remember the time we have to go to Colorado to retrieve it, after I sold it by mistake
Wait, did you just say that Stewie and you went to Colorado alone? asked Lois.
No! said Brian nervously. You imagined it!
But Ill swear-
Next question! said Brian.
Matt: …What’s with your lack of appearance?
Well, my screentime isnt as little as many people say said Matt. Of course, you must feel that I barely appear in this story compared with other OCs screentime
Peter: Why do you pick on Meg so much?… not that I don’t like it its awesome.
Because Im a terrible father said Peter in a monotone voice. Im just a fat moron that is unable of appreciate how awesome, smart, funny and beautiful my daughter is, but from now onward, Ill treat her with all the love and respect she deserves
Everybody then stared at Peter in shock.
Meg! said Lois angrily. I think I forbad you to place mind control enchantments on your father!
Oh, come on! said Meg disdainfully. Is much better now.okay, Ill undo the spell said Meg as she snapped her fingers, and Peter went back to normal.
Uh? What happened? asked Peter. Did I fell asleep? I must, because I have a terrible nightmare
Lois: Why are you so hot?
Thanks! said Lois, blushing I think it may be the Pewterschmidt genes said Lois.
Sure, did you see her mom? asked Peter. I hope that Lois remains that hot when she reaches her age
Peter! shouted Lois.
Errr, lets move to another letter said Matt as he grabbed a letter from the stack. This is from Material
~MATT~
1. How do you feel being in the Griffin Family?
Good, although sometimes I miss dad and Sophie said Matt. Its also a bit weird, since Ive never lived with so many people together. Sometimes the life together isnt easy, but i try to get used to it
2. Do you enjoy playing video games? If so, what games?
Of course I do said Matt. And my favourite genres would be first and third person shooters like Metal Gear Solid or Call of Duty, and survival horrors, like Silent Hill and Resident Evil
Oh, Matt, did you know that Nintendo has bought the Resident Evil Franchise? asked Chris. They are going to make a new game for the wii
Really, what kind of game? asked Matt
Cutaway
Nintendo and Capcom present: Resident Evil Kart!
We see the ravaged streets of Raccoon City, filled with zombies and other kind of mutant stuffand all the protagonists from all the games running through the roads with karts.
Get out of my way, loser! said Jill Valantine as she overtook Leon in a very maneuver.
Learn to drive, you bitch! shouted Leon. I wonder why the hell woman are allowed to draw
STARS! roared Nemesis from behind.
Be careful said Wesker. Nemesis hasan invincible star!
STAAAAAAAAAARS! roared Nemesis, with the invincible star effect on him, trampling the other drivers.
Like he wasnt invincible before sighed Claire.
End Cutaway
3. What really ** you off? Besides WoW I mean.
Unrealistic romantic flicks said Matt. By unrealistic, I mean to be set in a bizarre world in which Julia Roberts or Sandra Bullock are unable to get a date, or a movie in which Hilary Duff is considered homely. Seriously, who the hell is going to buy that?
Yeah, it happens to me too said Meg. I dont know why everybody says that I look like a boy!
Meg, thats not trueaid Lois.
No, Lois, is true said Peter. He looks like a boy. Like a really ugly boy. You know, I wanted to have a boy for my first kid, but instead of a boy I have a boy looking girl
Meg then stared at Lois.
Forget what I said about mind control sighed Lois in disgust.
Oh, I almost forgot to mention said Matt. I also hate movies starred by monkeys. They are so stupid, even for little kids
I dont like monkeys either said Chris.
4. What do you think of Zack Murdock and Matthew Ryder? And be honest, don’t just voice the opinion from your creator.
Let me tell you first that the thought of Meg being with another guy, even if its from another universe, infuriates me a lot said Matt. But, well, Zack seems to be a cool guy, takes care of Meg really good, and Meg seems to love him. As for my namesake, I dont hold the same respect for him as I do for Zack, mostly because sometimes he treats Meg pretty badly. But Meg seems to be good with him, so I dont have any bad thing to say
~ROSIE~
1. Okay, this question is going to be inevitable, so I might as well ask it. What do you think of Maddie Murdock and Jaina Ryder?
Maddie is pretty cool said Rosie. Like the older sister I never had. And she has a lot of imagination. However, there are parts of her that scares me, like her love for guns. As for Jaina, she is also cool as well, although she seems to be sexually very confused
2. What’s your favorite power? What power do you hate using?
My favourite power is teleport said Rosie. I can go anywhere with it, instead of the rest of people who have to walk
Rosie, you shouldnt rely on magic so much said Matt. What are you going to do if you lose your powers?
Lose my powers? Thats never going to happen! laughed Rosie. However, she noticed that the others were whistling and looking away. right?
But she didnt got any answer.
And a power that I hate usingseriously, whats wrong with that question? Theres no spell I hate to use! Magic is cool in every way! said Rosie, cheered.
I dont think so said Meg. Remember when you wanted to help your father to fix a light bulb?
Flashback
Rosie walks to Matt, who is in the kitchen, on the top of a ladder, fixing the roof lamp.
Daddy, do you want to play with me? asked Rosie.
Sorry, sweetie, but daddy is busy right now said Matt. Lois asked me to fix this lamp
Oh, dont worry about that, Ill fix it right now! said Rosie as she cast a lightning on the lamp, which exploded, set the kitchen on fire and tossed Matt from the ladder.
I think that Ill play with mom instead said Rosie as she quickly banished.
End Flashback
Hey, I heard that lamps work with electricity! said Rosie.
~BRUCE~
1. You were never described! What do you look like? I keep picturing Buzz Killington whenever you appear.
Read again chapter 11 Blondes in my night. Theres a description of how I look like said Bruce. Wait, when was the last time I appeared in this story?
~SOPHIE~
1. What do you see in Stewie? Seriously, I can’t wrap my head around any Stewie/OC pairings… no matter how cute they are.
Stewie is funny, witty, intelligent, and have lots of cool toys! said Sophie. I always have fun when Im with him, and he is also a very good friend. Right, Stewie?
Leave me alone! said Stewie before pushing Sophie.
He must have a bad day wondered Sophie.
~MEG~
1. When are you going to use the Spellbook again? It seems that it just keeps getting stolen.
Youre not the first one who asked that said Meg. And yeah, its about time that I use the book, since its mine after all. Now I cant think when Im going to use it, but Im sure that a chance will pop up at any moment
Lets move to another letter said Rosie. This is from Depthmon
For Rosie: Ill give you 5 bucks for the phoenix…..deal or no deal?
Hell no! said Rosie. Ill never sell my beloved Flare, and, if I will, hes worth more than five bucks!
Heres another letter said Peter. From Nellabelle
Stewie: How does it feel to have two nieces and one nephew that are around the same age as you? And, how old are you? I lost track.
UhhhI only have one niece, Rosie. If by two nieces and a nephew you were referring to Kyle and Maya, they arent related to me said Stewie. Oh, and Im one
Still? asked everybody in unison.
YES! said Stewie, angered. Lets go to another letter.
This is from Malcolm Fox said Peter. That guy that hates me so much. Well, I hate him too!
After season 7, is there anybody who doesnt hate you? asked Brian.
Touch said Peter.
1. Is Olivia really dead in this universe?
Yes. You could see her ghost on chapter 9 Resentful Evil. But who knows, maybe shell find a way to come back from the dead
2. Will Eliza Pinchley make an appearance and have a rivalry with Rosie?
I dont know, but if Eliza will appear in this story, either as a one chapter character or as a recurring character, she wouldnt have a rivalry with Rosie, for three reasons:
1- As I said many times, I already copied you too much. Although even if you havent done this yet, I wouldnt do it either.
2- Rosie has powers, Eliza has not. It would be a pretty unfair rivalry for the latter, dont you think so?
3- I dont know why Eliza would be Rosies rival, aside for her wanting to kill Lois.
For Rosie:
3. If you had a chance to hang out with Maddie and her friends for a day, would you?
Of course I would! said Rosie, excited. Too bad that mom says that tearing down the wall between dimensions just for my liter is wrong. Although I have fun with Stewie, Id like to hang out with other girls too
How about Sophie and Maya? asked Meg.
They dont live here, and I cant force them to come here every time I want said Rosie. Or I can?
No, you cant! said Meg.
Buzz killer muttered Rosie.
Lets go with another letter said Matt. This is from BlueDragonFics brother
Ander:Why do you and Malcolm hate Bhaalspawn so much and don’t say cause the incest in the story we want to know all other reasons why.
1- I dont hate Bhaalswn, neither does Malcolm Fox. Seriously, everybody knows that I dont like Whispering Illusion, and that my relationship with Bhaal isnt very good, but why people says that Malcolm hates him?
2- I dont think this is the place to talk about that. You can go t the forums if you want an answer.
Rosie:If you ever get into a showdown between Jaina or Matthew Ryder do you think that you’ll stand a chance in beating either of the two and use your own opinion not your creator.
No. When it comes to raw power, Im pretty below their level said Rosie. But why I would fight them?
Brian:How do feel now that your a dad and do you still have feelings for Lois?
Its a wonderful experience said Brian. Taking care of not one but two kids is most of the times hard and exhausting, thus I dont have so many freedom I had before, but its really rewarding. In the past, I was afraid of being far away from the Griffins, but now I know that I can have my own family. As for my feelings for Lois, I finally got over them. I had to, otherwise I couldnt success in my love life
Meg:What are your favorite spells in the book and what are not your favorites.
There are too many useful and cool spells to actually choose a favourite said Meg. But my favourite would be the Curse of Bad Luck. Its so refreshing to see other people more miserable than you
Everybody looked at Meg, worried.
Peter:how do feel now that Meg not only has a powerful relic that she can use to rule the world at any time but also that she’s also much more popular than you in the FF community.
Its out righteous! said Peter. Meg got magic powers, Lois dad got magic powers, why cool people like ME doesnt get magic powers?
Come on like you havent use the spellbook several times for your absurd purposes said Meg as she rolled her eyes.
I dont get why Meg is more popular than me. I can understand Stewie or Brian, but MEG? Come on! complained Peter. The show is called Family Guy, thus it should be about ME!
Stewie:do you think that the show will ever stop using gay jokes about you and make you back to the evil genuis that you ones were?
Of course not. Seth seems to love everything with the word gay on it said Stewie. However, you have great stories here from authors like Ander, Malcolm or Bhaalspawn that highly reduce or remove completely said jokes, and sometimes even show me in my former glory. You know, I miss to be an evil genius, you get to invent funny stuff, like rayguns, tanks, bombs, torture devices
Man, youre sick said Rosie in disgust. I can believe that Sophie refers those as cool toys
Everyone:what do all of you think was the best Family Guy episode in the show’s history.
Mine is Mr. Griffin Goes to Washington said Peter. I got to be freaking president of an important company!
Peter, they made you president because youre easy to manipulate said Lois. Those bastard only wanted kids to smoke
Oh, come on Lois, youre so nave said Peter. Well, now Im going to clean Joes house. Can you believe that cleaning Joes house make men to lose weight? Joe told me thats why hes so in shape
Point proven said Lois. Anyway, mine is Lethal Weapons. It feels so good to kick asses!
I liked a Fish Out of Water said Meg. Spring Break with mom wasnt as bad as I thought.
My favourite is The Former Life of Brian said Chris. That evil monkey got what he deserved!
I like the two parter The Thin White Line/Brian Does Hollywood said Brian, remembering said episodes. Those were good times before my transformation in McFarlanes soapbox and an annoying Mary Sue
My favourite is also a two parter said Stewie. Guess which. Ill give you two hints: I killed that bitch and finally ruled the world!
You didnt do said things said Brian. It was just a simulation
Shut up! said Stewie, angered. Lets move to another letter
Hey, a letter from Loessar said Brian as he opened the letter.
Meg: You are hot. You have used the spellbook to be a better swimmer and that is your natural talent. You can also do bird calls and play the drums. Will you use any spells for them?
If those are my natural talents, why I should use spell on them? asked Meg. Oh, and thanks for thinking that Im hot
I loved it when you tricked Peter when he dranked his beer with the truth serum in it. You got the last laugh. Good for you. Will you still get even with Peter if he acts up again?
Sure, but I dont think that dad will mess up with me again now that he knows that now Ill retaliate said Meg.
Matt: Meg and her family were superheroes and had superpowers. If you had a superpower, what would it be?
I think it would be nice to manipulate wind said Matt. Tornadoes are cool. Well, when you see them on TV and not in first person
Brian: Congratulations now that you are a father. But if it is possible, would you fall in love with a female talking dog?
Thanks said Brian. Now, answering the first question, the answer is obviously no. I recently had kids with Jillian, and I love her, so I dont think that thats going to happen
Are you proud or ashamed of being a dog?
Of course Im proud said Brian. People must feel proud about what are they. Can you imagine, for example, a black guy ashamed of being black? Well, I would be ashamed if I was black
Everybody then gasped in shock.
Sorry, sorry! said Brian quickly. It was my father talking!
Have you thought of having non-human friends like other dogs and other animals? Jasper and the new Brian were the only dogs you talked to and I thought it would be great see you have other friends that are non-human both male and female.
No said Brian. The reason of this is because their intellects are far away below mine, and I feel really uncomfortable with animals. I prefer to befriend humans because theyre intelligent and I can talk with them about important topics.
So, thats why you befriended grandpa said Rosie.
Hey, everybody, look at me said Peter. I can stick a blowlamp in my nose- AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!! LOIS, CALL THE HOSPITAL!! screamed Peter, holding in pain his charred face.
Alright said Rosie. But THATs why you became Jillians boyfriend, right?
Everybody san Rosie began to snicker rather loudly.
GO TO HELL! shouted Brian as he left the room. ITS MY LIFE!
Kyle: Are you planning to be like Brian when you are older? Dating human women for example?
I dont see why not said Kyle. I mean, a lot of odd things happened in this universe before, and a dog dating a woman isnt among the weirdest
Are you surprised that you have a human for a sister?
Kinda said Kyle. Is a bit of a shock to know that you share your DNA with another species, but what surprises me more is the difference between our intellects
Oh, come on, Maya isnt that dumb said Lois.
Do you really think that? asked Kyle.
Flashback
Kyle and Maya are in their room. Kyle is reading a Marvel comic while Maya is trying on clothes.
Mom said we can choose where are we going to go for vacation this summer said Maya. It isnt great?
Yup said Kyle. Id like to go to Los Angeles
Los Anegeles is too far said Maya. I know, lets go to the Moon! There isnt too many people who go there, thus hotels will be empty!
Sis, did you hear you? asked Kyle. We can go to the Moon? Also, you dont want to go to LA because is far and you want to go there?
The Moon is closer than LA said Maya.
You cant be serious said Kyle as he closed his comic.
Oh really? said Maya. Look at the sky. Do you see the moon?
Yes, but
Can you see LA from here? asked Maya. No, you cant. So the moon is closer
Kyle groaned and placed his paw on his forehead.
End Flashback
Now that Brian is with your mother, are you ready to have adventures with Stewie?
Hell no! That guy is freaking nuts! said Kyle in disgust. Who the hell would want to be near him?
I will said Sophie sweetly.
Weird said Kyle.
Here we have another letter from Lance and Kitty Forever said Lois as she opened the letter.
Meg:are you happy to have given birth to Rosie.
Of course I am said Meg. Being a mother is such a wonderful experience. Sure now I have much less free time and much more responsibilities, but its worth of it
Roise:who would you rather hang out with maddie, jaina or both of them.
Id prefer Maddie said Rosie. I find her more funny than Jaina, and she doesnt have that bizarre crush on Stewie. Besides, Maddie dont have magic powers so she wont eclipse me, hehe
And here is our last letter from aldovas said Meg.
My favourite character is Sophie, why do you make her a break since Rosie born?
Well, because I wanted to focus more on Rosie, and since Rosie lived in the same house as Stewie, was easier for me to use her instead of Sophie. But dont worry, I wont give her such a long break again.
…
That was all. I hope that you enjoyed this special chapter as I did answering to your letters. Fortunately, the next chapter will be a real one and not a lame excuse to not to write.
End of Fanmail